Cleveland Ohio (Strutts News Services) – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi startled a gathering of patrons attending a fundraiser for Wiccan congressional candidate Lannie Foosers.
When asked by Foosers’ campaign manager Tooncie Crumbler what she intends to do about the ever-increasing bat wing shortage, Ms. Pelosi quickly and deftly removed her right eyeball, and declared that she would do everything in her power to stop global warming caused by the previous administration.
The crowd gasped, but then applauded, as Ms. Pelosi replaced her orb as quickly as she had removed it. She then blinked 52 times per second for the next 13 minutes. Ms. Crumbler suddenly and unexpectedly spontaneously combusted, erupting in blue flames while seated in the front row.
Ms. Crumbler was rushed to St. Vincent Charity Hospital where she is recuperating from 1st and 2nd degree burns on her upper torso. Complete recovery is expected.
No other injuries were reported, and no more questions were asked. The fundraiser ended three hours early, and Ms. Pelosi left quietly on her broom.
[Previously posted a long time ago here.]
Tags: eyeball plucking, Nancy Pelosi, Satire, Snark, Theater of the Absurd, Wiccans
The eye of sauron
Her eyes falling out are possible. She has so much plastic surgery.
Eye, eye, eye…
all the fuldkommen gak ran out all over the floor.
?
oh god now I feel sick. SICK
Holy carp! We underestimated the crone! She really is a witch!
the “eyes” are two, and the nays are are 432, and murtha abstains
wolfie wrote:
Allahfish?
@ snork:
Kukkuk!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!
Nancy without her botox and makeup
snork wrote:
Salmon Rushdie
@ snork:
@ Doppelganger:
Aauuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Geraldo now has Al Sharpton on.
Should be high level discourse./
She be the one-eyed wicked witch of the west.
@ RIX:
Somehow that announcement fits right in with this thread!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
an eye for an eye!
Yes, for some reason it does fit.
a witch, a witch
RIX wrote:
…All the way up the 2d Hell. Or something like that…
maybe Jerry Rivers can ask fat Al about Freddy’s fashion mart
…
Sharpton is a racist & a hustler.
@ RIX:
Sharpton is a Black National Socialist.
hi all!
i see cthulu likes the pythons.
doing astronomy tonight…mars is really close right now, so i am getting some good detail in the 10″meade refelctor. no ice caps tho
i have a patch over my right eye so i dont lose night vision, and am running a program that changes my computer colors to all red to spare the other eye’s night vision, so my bar area looks like bridge on a submarine with all the red light…
i mention the thing about the eyes becasue if i could pull mine out like pelosi, then i could just put it in a dark box.
sharpton is black pikachu
Rodan wrote:
i’ve had a coupe of requests for us to put on a facebook ‘share’ button? just passing that on to the gurus…
@ wolfie:
That’s OK. I just got through wtching a show on the Military Channel on Marine Corps mountain survival training. At the start of it they had to kill a rabbit. OK, bunnies are cute, but I could do it. It is survival school.
Then they had to eat its eye balls. I think I might have washed out right there. Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! I guess after that a five mile hike in the snow doesn’t look so bad…
@ coldwarrior:
Astronomy Picture of the Day
Maybe Nancy Pelosi wants to join this merry bunch of Pirates.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaWU1CmrJNc
hubble pic
pelosi’s Eye
mars today
@ rain of lead:
that the cats eye nebula
nope…it aint! wrong.
Rix and Rodan,
I did a quick refresher on Dante’s little missive – Al might fit in about five different levels (shudder)…
cats eye nebula
orion nebula is in the page too…i was looking at that earlier.
the sun
Solar activity in the next 24 hours should remain at very low level.
The Blank Sun (Saturday)
I think so too, but the MSM will never call him out.
He has never apologized for the race baiting over Tawana Brawley, even though it was a hoax.
Isn’t the Prophet in the ring right next to the last?
@ coldwarrior:
love hubble pics
when the girl was a little younger, she would sit on my lap and we would cycle through space pics for hours
@ coldwarrior:
We will get to that.
rain of lead wrote:
my home page, i go here first thing ion the AM…cause that thermonuclear reactor 8 light minutes away does hav an effect on the day!
Rodan wrote:
cool…watchooo up to 2nite?
rain of lead wrote:
the pics are just brilliant! and excellent science
@ coldwarrior:
cool, just added to fav’s
RIX wrote:
Isn’t the Prophet in the ring right next to the last?
Something like that…
@ coldwarrior:
Chilling at my Mom’s house and watching the Godfather 2.
rain of lead wrote:
next time we get some sunspots, i’ll take some pics and do a post.
Rodan wrote:
i’m trying to warm up, my feet are a little cold from being outside. might have a little booze to help out.
@ coldwarrior:
I have been following sunspots for the last couple of years just as it relates to global warming(or the lack thereof)
rain of lead wrote:
there is a 75% or so correlation, so it is significant.
i saw a graph that had the cycles and mean temps lined up…lemme look
@ coldwarrior:
here,here
tosses a shot
……….
what were we talking about
@ coldwarrior:
Alcohol always helps.
Too bad this wasn’t a Caption This thread; for if it was, my contribution would be, ‘In one second I blinked my eye this many times!’
coldwarrior wrote:
I’ve heard of using Epson salt, but putting my feet in a bath of alcohol is news to me.
coldwarrior wrote:
i cant find it…but i did find this shotglass that just happened to be full of frozen stoli vodka…aint that just the damndest thing?
song_and_dance_man wrote:
was doing astronomy…its 15F out there…i’m a little chilled!
How do’ folks. Late to my own thread. That post dates to 2007, got some guffaws then, too.
Good night all. Have a good evening.
Doppelganger wrote:
Is that what you meant?
Comparison of the extended solar activity record with the temperature series confirms the high correlation between solar activity and northern hemisphere land surface air temperature and shows that the relationship has existed through the whole 500-year interval for which reliable data exist.
Bunk X wrote:
its funny!
@ coldwarrior:
No jump points? Good.
Lannie Foosers…?
Tooncie Crumbler…?
Sounds highly dubious, to me.
@ coldwarrior:
ya know, that just confirms what this high-school educated southern
red-neck knew just from daily life, that huge flaming ball of gas in the sky does have an effect
coldwarrior wrote:
Cheap post. Blame Rodan for goading me.
Macker wrote:
none that i can see, but i’ve been running around with an eye patch on since 1900hrs.
Et Norsk Troll wrote:
Google the names and you’ll see the future.
@ Bunk X:
Hey, some comedy is timeless. Like The Honeymooners…
@ coldwarrior:
Now that’s cold. Here in the rustic SW NM it rarely gets that cold. BTW I love astronomy. I took my son to Yosemite about 8 years ago and we just happened to find a San Fransisco Astronomy club camped out. That very night we went and joined them above the valley – the name of observation place is forgotten right now – but we did get to use the many telescopes that were there for the viewing. We saw Saturn and the Crab Nebula, the North star and many other celestial treats. It was a great late night that added to a great vacation.
I must mention another really nice vacation that was replete with an astounding astronomical event. I was fortunate to vacation in the High Desert of So Cal when the planets aligned back in the mid 90′s and also when Venus was very close to the earth. As the sun set Venus shone like I have never seen ever. It looked like another sun, but only smaller. And of course there are the many times I’ve gone out to the desert to witness the Leonid and Perseid meteor showers. There is nothing like seeing meteors dance across the atmosphere like a stone skipping across a body of water.
rain of lead wrote:
yeah, crazy how that works…1,368 Watts/square meter/sec…thats gonna have an effect on the weather
song_and_dance_man wrote:
I’m thinking of a caption something like this, SADM
“I SQUISH your head~!”
@ song_and_dance_man:
its good stuff! we have a 16″ and a 10″ newtonian…we have been known to pack them in the big truck and go get lost for a weekend. it relaxes me.
coldwarrior wrote:
@ Bunk X:
hey we need some humor!
@ Bunk X:
The………….the future??!?
Back to the planet alignment. We were able to see with the naked eye 3 planets in daylight. I have never since then seen that.
@ coldwarrior:
Hmmm, did you ever show that to the head loozard way back when? I notice that paper was written before the millenium.
PaladinPhil wrote:
agw was still BS when i was there…
song_and_dance_man wrote:
that is rare
@ coldwarrior:
I bought my son a small Mead, which is only 2 or 3 inches, but I did buy from an old friend a 12 inch. I have yet to use it; it is sitting in storage right now.
@ savage:
Ed Norton as Captain Jack Sparrow is classic.
@ Bunk X:
I like the ‘Dr. Norton’ one.
Don’t touch me, I’m sterile!
@ coldwarrior:
Yeah: I’ve always suspected that the Sun makes the Earth’s atmosphere warm. Nice to hear it elucidated so well by somebody, for a change. So many scientists would challenge you on that….
@ PaladinPhil:
You can find the head Loozard at the minute mark in the video above.
@ coldwarrior:
Yeah it is. For some unknown terrestrial reason the night of and the day after gave us an unusual view of the heavens. The night was extremely calm and the stars seemed to hang there with no distortion. And the next day gave us the same condition. There was no twinkling as stars are usually observed from earth. We were also able to see quite clearly the redness of Mars and the Red Giant of Orion.
song_and_dance_man wrote:
12 is a good size.
i use the 10 more than the 16, the 16 is a freaking monster, the primary mirror weighs 75lbs and the tube is 7ft tall…setup is a bear.
i built a mount for it, kinda like this one , to make it easier to use..
we also have very large binoculars.
@ Et Norsk Troll:
that was straight out of the white paper.
@ song_and_dance_man:
getting a calm air mass that isnt all dust/smog/schmutz is rare. calm air means usually means lots of particulate matter.
@ gulfloafer:
funny!
I have a friend who just got into stargazing. Although I don’t share it, it’s nice to see new blood take up an old hobby…
these binoculars
i built a mount for them as well, it holds the binos in place and you can lay back on a lawn chair and look at sky…
@ song_and_dance_man:
Very nice.
I have a entry level Newtonian that the wife got me years ago. I have seen Jupiter and Saturn from my own backyard. The feeling I get when doing that is hard to describe, teensy-weensy tiny speck in the universe comes to mind though.
PSGInfinity wrote:
this time of year its tough…its cold and in the northern hemiosphere there arent a lot of easy targets…the sky gets ‘empty’ because we are sort of facing away from the arms of the galaxy that contain all the fun objects
Rodan wrote:
I’ll work on it. I ordered “Humor For Dummies” book, but I’m only up to Chapter 2: Fuckin’ Around With Sarcasm.
Dirty AYN, THAA, YAA. wrote:
perspective.
Everyone, make sure you see the thread I have coming up in 20 minutes. It’s a good one.
PSGInfinity wrote:
its fun on a warm night, set out some snacks, some wine, have a few friends over and look at stuff. great way to spend an evening.
@ coldwarrior:
I’m doing a post on the New Left.
@ coldwarrior:
Yeah, the thought of hauling the monster I bought (two years ago) keeps me from using it. And with that I haven’t planned any outings yet to use it. Mine is a home grown unit, but the optics are good. Whoever built it knew what they were doing. But I will use it eventually.
@ coldwarrior:
Let’s hope CJ doesn’t catch on to the science of sun spots or his cult will start boycotting that too soon enough.
@ savage:
Oh Oh!
savage wrote:
there he goes, barking orders!
hiya boss!
song_and_dance_man wrote:
Lessee… Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn… No Uranus puns, please.
savage wrote:
Money back guarantee good or President Obama kind of good, Savage?
(Just wanted to be clear, here)
song_and_dance_man wrote:
make sure you have one of these
@ Rodan:
care to give up the executive summary?
coldwarrior wrote:
Here’s a map to help find them all…
gulfloafer wrote:
err TWOminute mark. CJ makes an appearance. Too many margeries
coldwarrior wrote:
;P
Bunk X wrote:
the correct pronouncement is ‘yoor a nuss’ not youranus.
i still use the second one for fun!
Macker wrote:
Jump point opening!
@ coldwarrior:
Yeah. We, my friend and I, surmised that a weird calm gave us a rare glimpse of the sky that many never get to see. That night, unaided, we could see 3 of Jupiter’s satellites. And of course the Earths satellites that railed against the view almost incessantly.
@ PSGInfinity:
its almost accurate, actually!
@ coldwarrior:
I want a fancy lazy GPS driven 12″ light bucket.
But then old fashion star hopping is educational.
@ coldwarrior:
Drop and give me 100! ahhaa
how are ya?
@ Et Norsk Troll:
End of the world good. mmm hmmm
bar wrote:
$$$ for the accurate drives
@ savage:
being good tonight…have liturgy in the AM…
@ coldwarrior:
Excellent!
@ Dirty AYN, THAA, YAA.:
Have you seen the Star Gaze DVD’s that feature the pics of Hubble. If you like astronomy these two DVD’s are a must.
@ bar:
i WILL own this one day
coldwarrior wrote:
I pronounced it correctly. It was originally called Herschel. Got a problem with that?
@ gulfloafer:
Is he going to ban the sun?
Bunk X wrote:
herschel!
Back in 1994 when the Northridge EQ hit. It knocked all the lights in the San Fernando Valley out.
The only time I have seen the milky way from my own driveway. The sky was so vivid people where calling the police asking if that strange cloud in the sky (milky way) had something to do with the EQ.
song_and_dance_man wrote:
Probably. If that doesn’t work he’ll dub it a “nontroversy” and forbid any further discussion.
@ song_and_dance_man:
Have them.. Great stuff, I love the star charts on DVD.
bar wrote:
amazing…its your galaxy, dummies!
we go up to my parents property for that, its stone dark up there.
coldwarrior wrote:
By design. Here’s the full page.
Some say tomato and some tomatoe. I dread the day when kids think Saturn was named after a car.
@ coldwarrior:
I doing it’s orgins, infiltration of American society and its effects.
song_and_dance_man wrote:
You’re telling us that you could see some of Jupiter’s moons unaided? ;D
PSGInfinity wrote:
i can compare….
i have the star chart for the northern hemisphere painted on my ceiling in the bar…yeah, geek…the milky way and the stars have glow in the dark paint.
LFG Ally Alert: Hidden Frontier (that gay Star Trek series) links to and supports selrahC
@ song_and_dance_man:
Wait. What? Saturn, the planet, isn’t named after a car.
For us in the West the Milky Way only comes out at night. Bummer.
@ coldwarrior:
…What size?
Macker wrote:
So, do they engage in tribbling instead of gerbiling?
Macker wrote:
Are you a member or something?
gulfloafer wrote:
Let’s just say they make life unpleasant to say the least for those on the right. If you’re not able to link to it, go and sign up so we can make life miserable for those folks!
Osprey: yes, they too Love a Good Fisting.
@ Macker:
Dude, you are. I saw your nic on their board. WTFO
@ Bunk X:
Affirmative. And as I said earlier we could see three planets in broad daylight. Of course they could have been our own satellites, and if so, that is still phenomenal. But I maintain they were planets since we followed them and knew where there were just before night fell from the previous evening.
PSGInfinity wrote:
i’d like the 14.
The Osprey wrote:
Tribbling with gerbils?
INVADE THE HF BOARD: Register here
coldwarrior wrote:
Thought so.
song_and_dance_man wrote:
And only on Halloween after the kids have gone to bed.
PSGInfinity wrote:
the 16 is a bit much…both in weight and $$$
@ Macker:
I’ll take a pass on that one.
song_and_dance_man wrote:
I was being, um, nevermind. Mercury and Venus align regularly, and Mars, Saturn and Jupiter are easily visible as well. Earth is easy to spot. There have been a couple of alignments in recent years. Glad that the predictions of mass catastrophe happened only in the minds of the gullible.
Macker wrote:
Who are they?
coldwarrior wrote:
The 14 ain’t exactly svelte. Watch your back when emplacing either one!
PSGInfinity wrote:
that is a permanent mount in a shed/observatory type building!
coldwarriorthat is a permanent mount in a shed/observatory type building!
Or the back of a pickup…