Never mind which level of Hell they’re on…
The ancient fortress appeared almost pristine for once. Tapestry from throughout the ages lined the stone walls, and the place was packed with thousands upon thousands of the most Evil individuals in all of human history, feasting and breaking out into song to commemorate their deeds…and also to sing the praises of their Ultimate Leader.
At the head of the great fortress’ hall sat a number of folks who curried the favor of The Infernal One, and as such, received more breaks from their eternal punishments than the rest of the damned souls: They all appeared in perfect health!
Saddam Hussein, his sons Uday and Qusay, his cousin Ali Hassan al-Majid, along with Yasser Arafat, the Ayatollah Khomeini, Muammar al-Gaddafi, and Osama bin Laden, all dining on the largest chickens they had ever seen here.
Adolf Hitler feasted on massive roast eggplant while sitting next to Genghis Khan with a massive plate of beef. For once, he was not repulsed to seeing the beef, which was also being consumed by Tom Zarek.
John Murtha and Ted Kennedy were slated to be treated to pork, more pork, and even more pork…although the former Senator from Massachusetts was too busy downing more scotch! In any case they were used to it and were finally happy. Fortunately, they were kept away from Saddam’s contingent for good reason
Charles Foster “Icarus” Johnson stuffed his face with what seemed to be endless supplies of Mountain Dew and Cheetos galore. Lost in the crowd were Fred Phelps, Iceweasel and Killgore Trout, some other models with grievous sins, and other humans who were mainly vassals or servants of some authority.
And at the very center of the table sat John Cavil. One seat to his right was empty, being reserved for the Prince of Darkness. When the time came, he stood up and raised his hands for all to see, and the crowd fell slient. Everyone in the Infernal Realm heard and saw this broadcast.
“The time has come, my friends,” said the Number One Cylon, “to bring in our patron! The ruler of this realm! THE INFERNAL ONE!”
The crowd roared as he materialized at the center chair! While the Muslim contingent immediately bowed down in worship mode chanting “Iblis Akbar!”, Saddam remained standing and gasped. During the cacophony of the celebration he said, “You look NOTHING like I experience every day!”
The Infernal One smiled. “What…you expect me to appear like my demonic creations with an anvil-shaped genitalia 24/7? This is, after all, my true self. Even I need a break!”
This appeared to ease Saddam’s fears…and he too bowed down to worship him.
The deafening cheers continued. Iblis then raised his hands to quite the minions, and they fell silent. “Today…I have granted you all a special reprieve from your eternal penalties! In exchange, my left-hand man,” placing his left hand on Cavil’s right shoulder, “has graciously offered to share with you all his ultimate experience from so long ago. BRING IT FORTH!”
The crowd cheered, not knowing what was to occur next. This went on for five minutes and suddenly, a strange craft materialized in the crimson skies directly above the ancient fortress. The cheering turned to muttering, when at last, the strange craft launched a single object which approached at incredible velocity, yet the time seemed to pass at a snail’s pace…so they all beheld the object: a multiple independently targetable reentry vehicle.
The strange craft then launched more of these, all of which vectored off to the various cities all over Hell.
Cavil shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry I couldn’t retrieve any of my base ships.” He pointed upward. “All those hybrids touched you-know-who! This was the best I could do on such short notice.”
“That’s quite all right,” replied Iblis. “Let’s sit back and enjoy the moment, shall we?” They did so, as the muttering morphed into sheer panic.
Everyone scurried about, desperately seeking shelter…except for Charles Johnson, who kept munching on Cheetos and slamming down even more Mountain Dew. He erroneously continued to think this was just another game scenario…until he finally realized this was for real. He screamed, “Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!”
The MIRV stopped, now floating…or so it seemed to the damned. The last thing they saw was a blinding white flash…and the last thing they felt was the flesh melting away from their bones….
Tags: Adolf Hitler, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, Charles Johnson, Count Iblis, Cylons, john Cavil, John Murtha, Muammar Gaddafi, Osama Bin laden, Saddam Hussein, Ted Kennedy, Tom Zarek
nuber one thing is I’m on
the deck with a coldi
@ mawskrat:
my key board hates me
Where did that whole thing with “anvil-shaped genitalia” come from? Doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me.
@ 1389AD:
ohhh! yah really want to know
Life Is Good…..
all I need I a pig in a pen
Love those glissandi!!!
I loves me some Download City…
Everybody hide. It’s a tweet from Weiner * 11.
/throws the Clingon module out the hatch
mawskrat wrote:
For me that pesky Caps button is a nuisance . For some reason it insists on taking over whenever I key an ‘a’.
Miami up by 1
mawskrat wrote:
yup
not much shocks me these days…too old for that
doriangrey wrote:
I still don’t get it, but don’t mind me. I’ve been spending too much time drinking beer and playing foosball with the Boiler Room Crew.
Calo wrote:
You mean the temperature?
@ Bunk X:
It must be unique and coded for the day shift here.
I don’t get it either.
Ball mode back on.
I thought tweeting your weiner here was against the rules?
@ Calo:
Hey there! Did you get the message I sent you through FB?
NoThreat2U wrote:
It’s legit if you’re tweeting Johnson and Johnson.
@ song_and_dance_man:
Ahhhhhh OK then, tweet away. lol
Calo wrote:
I don’t either.
@ NoThreat2U:
I sent a reply. I think the fb gods got it instead.
And, my computer has what Bunk had last week.
song_and_dance_man wrote:
ROTFLMAO… We must have the same keyboard…
Sarah Palin just said on Greta, “I don’t think that I
owe the Main Strem Media Anything.”
Word!
@ song_and_dance_man:
Dallas up by 1
RIX wrote:
They owe her. If it weren’t for solid conservatives to report about they would be reduced to only reporting lies about their darlings.
song_and_dance_man wrote:
Weiner at the muslim day parade! What a weener!
@ song_and_dance_man:
I don’t think that Sarah Palin will ever forgive the way
the MSM treated her family.
@ RIX:
They still mistreat her and the family. This will always be the case with the msm.
@ RIX:
I won’t.
Trig has been slammed around enough.
It disgusts me.
@ RIX:
Palin’s the type of person who can tell you to go frak yourself without actually having to use the words to do so!
1389AD wrote:
A long, long time ago I read some type of murder mystery novel which had elements of Satanism in it, and I swear to God on a stack of Holy Bibles ten feet high that one of the characters in that novel was being serviced by such a demon.
I wish I knew the name of that book. That imagery, as horrible as it is, has stuck with me ever since. That said…don’t the Mohammedans deserve such a processing when they get to Hell? 72 times nonetheless?
Calo wrote:
Oh no. Same symptoms? Do the Kaspersky dance ASAP. [see email]
@ Calo:
Search for a program called winabc3.exe in your archives and manually vaporize it too.
OT-- A Malay blogger acquaintance sent me this link to Jihad Watch. Worth a read.
And for a Nightmare within a Nightmare:
@ mawskrat:
Now that was some fine pickin’!
RIX wrote:
I have no knowledge about that, but I have a hunch she understands that persecution is part of the deal when one holds to ideals the Left really hates. That is why they are on her tail.
Calo wrote:
Despicable in the extreme.
Macker wrote:
Her very existence in the Pol world is a big middle finger to the Left.
@ Bunk X:
Can’t I just call a repairman?
I got the link earlier, to no avail.
Macker wrote:
And she does it with a smile.
@ song_and_dance_man:
I have never seen an individual more disparaged than
Sarah Palin.
The worst was from a Cnadian female journalist.
Palin was desribed as “The Wasilla hillbilly, married to
an Eskimo with a slutty daughter & a crazy baby.”
The lefies here loved it.
@ RIX:
Not only does the left love it, they copulate to it too.
Macker wrote:
Particularly at our old neighborhood.
Bunk X wrote:
I put it into the hot links. Hope you don’t mind…
Bunk X wrote:
Good read. Is there any good news in, from or about islam? Answer: NO.
@ RIX:
It goes with the job of getting individuals, one at a time, to steer the nation away from the Left and their socialization of it. It’s a heady job and there is no doubt she is up to the task.
@ song_and_dance_man:
What happened to Palin is right out of the Saul Alinsky
playbook. When the arguement is not in your favor, mock
and ridicule your opponemt. Obama obviously studied
“Rules For Radicals.”
Good night all.
@ 1389AD:
He’s got a post put together. He’s had to edit it for anonymity. We’re working out options. He’s not the same guy who posted on Jihad Watch.
@ 1389AD:
Of course not.