From a speech in North Carolina on April 2, 2010. “Bob” is the manager of the plant that he’s speaking at, that makes some sort of polymeric battery insulators. Spaketh the GIF:

So it is a huge need for us to increase our fuel efficiency on cars now.  And that’s why one of the things that I did last year — it’s actually taking effect this week — is to raise a national fuel efficiency standard, first time we’ve done it in a very long time.  But, frankly, even with us raising those standards, I think consumers just in terms of their pocketbook interests are going to be even more interested in buying hybrids and electric cars.

So he made the cars use less gas. Last year. No wonder the earth isn’t warming any more. I didn’t even notice that he saved us already.

Two things that we can do that would make a big difference right now:  Number one, we’ve got to make sure that those cars are made here in the United States of America.  And so part of the reason why it’s so important for us to develop the battery technology here is if we’re developing battery technology that helps us leverage more auto production here in the United States.  [...]

[He never gets around to mentionong the second "thing" -ed]

But one thing we need to do is make sure that those cars are made here in the United States.  [Didn't he already say that? - ed] The second thing we need to do is to create the electricity grid, what we’re calling the smart grid, which is — think about it, part of the reason that we can drive our cars is because there’s a gas station every so often.  There are roads.  There are gas stations.  We know how to fuel up our automobiles.  Now, if we want to have everybody getting maximum use out of an electric car or a hybrid car, part of what we have to do is to create a similar distribution mechanism for electricity.  And one of the exciting things about these hybrids is we want to get to the point where you’ve got what’s called a plug-in hybrid, where you essentially have a gas station at your house — called your electric socket.  And you’re going to be able to plug in your car at night.  Some of the energy that was stored in the car can actually go back into the house, and then when you’re ready to go, you can get that energy and use it to drive.

WTF is this guy blathering about? #1, we don’t have any kind of electricity distribution grid right now? That’s news to me. Last time I checked, this computer was running on electricity, and so is my fridge, and I know it’s working because my beer is cold.

Secondly, (and yes, I’m actually going to follow up on this clause), when in the past has the federal government ever created a utility distribution network? They created the TVA and Bonneville and Hoover systems of generators as make-work projects in the 1930s, but never the distribution network to actual point-of-use consumers.

Thirdly, he seems to have swallowed a mouthful of buzzwords and associated snippets of information without any real understanding of what they really are all about. The “Smart Grid” isn’t a grid at all; it’s a completely stand alone system of internet connections to the utility central operator that allows the utilities to do some clever things that might save some money, but really amounts to a form of high-tech rationing. The “Smart Grid” is a topic for a whole post by itself.

But to do all that you need a better electricity grid. [I just explained why that isn't true. -ed] We’ve got kind of a creaky infrastructure when it comes to electricity, and that’s one of the major investments that we want to start making. [Bullshit, Mr. President. - ed] And that, by the way, is an investment that only government, working with the private sector, can help to make. [More bullshit, Mr. President. The utilities should be able to finance all of that if it makes economic sense, using the conventional return on investment form of financing, Mr. President. There's no need for the government to be involved in any of this infrastructure at all. - ed]

That was a great paragraph, aside from being 100% USDA approved grade AAA bullshit.

You’re hearing a lot of talk these days about government, and government is terrible, and bureaucrats, and they’re taking over and all this stuff.  Look, I don’t want government any more than is necessary, [Copious bullshit, Mr. President. -ed] but there are some things that Bob or any CEO can’t invest in.  Bob is not going to build the roads to get to Celgard.  [Neither is the federal government, Mr. President, but it's not without precedent for a private company to actually build its own roads and connections to the interstate highway system). -ed] No company is going to make investments for a public good. [Excuse me, Mother...Mr. President??? And the federal bureaucrats work for free? -ed] None of you would expect a private company to fund our military or our firefighters. [Who TF do you think is paying for them??? -ed] There are just some things that you can’t do on your own, and the private sector is not going to do — it’s not profitable because if Bob was the guy who had to build the road, he’d have a whole bunch of other people driving on that road that weren’t paying for it.  So it’s not a good investment for him.

Oy. I’m sure glad we gots the smartestest Harvard genius in charge. Aren’t you?

Related: President Obama Gives 17-Minute, 2500 Word Answer to Woman Who Says “We Are Overtaxed”

Where do I go to get those 17 minutes back?

Roger Simon has some interesting (and disturbing) comments on the 17-minute ramble:

I know some conservatives think Obama is a socialist or a closet Alinskyite or whatever, but I think the problem is yet more complicated. No matter his ideology, this man is not fit to rule psychologically. Or, more properly, govern — but you know what I mean. He doesn’t have the temperament. He was elected with people knowing almost nothing about him. Despite that the facts are still masked, his history still obscure, we may now know too much, have seen too much. These things just leak out around the edges. They do for all of us, like it or not. And yet, he will be with us until 2012 at least.

Good luck to us.

Indeed.